| Thursday, July 1, 2010 |
| Gems Collected in May - Danielle DeCarlo |
Do you know that our church is full of wise women? I am so glad that God surrounded me with wise women because he knew that I would need it! Every time issues arise, God supplies the perfect person with the perfect words to lead me in the right direction. On Wednesday nights in May we were blessed by more wise women sharing their insights gained through years of child rearing. It was an extension of His Very Own focused on the area of Loving Our Kids, and each week highlighted a different age group. The hour that we spent together each week barely scratched the surface of what these women have experienced, but I know who might have the answers for my future problems! Each week my mind and heart were flooded with smart ideas, practical solutions, and curious thoughts that I had not begun to explore. I am thankful for the opportunity to bask in their wisdom, and each week there was at least one thought that spoke exactly to me. Things that touched what I had been feeling or thinking, nuggets planned especially for me. Let me share a few of the “nuggets” that have stuck with me.
The first week we discussed babies and toddlers and it was Gilda Shelby’s comment, “Kids can tell phony.” She was referring to our relationship with God and how it needs to be more than talk if we are going to touch our kids. “Relationship” has been one of my buzz words this year. God changes me through my relationship with him, and that’s the way I can influence my kids. Travis knows when I am trying to feed him a line. Even Justin gives me that look that says, “Come on, Mom, I know better than that!” They can see through to my heart, and if it’s not right, they know. I want my heart to ooze God’s love so that it can be reflected openly and sincerely in all aspects of my life. Then my kids can’t help but be touched and affected by that same love.
The second week focused on elementary age kids and Cheryl McCalister spoke to me when she said, “Everyone has issues.” That was for all us women who spend our entire lives comparing ourselves to each other (and usually coming up short). That day, it was me… big time! For some reason, we women are masters at identifying every one of our flaws and failures and accentuating them a hundred-fold in our minds, sure that everyone else knows them too. Sometimes this leads us to beating ourselves up over our inadequacies. Other times, we hunt for any real or imagined shortcomings in others to make ourselves feel a little better, if only for a short time. That’s not helping my kids (or me, for that matter), and it’s not teaching them about what is right. Philippians 4:8 hits me right between the eyes: “Whatever is true…noble…right…pure…lovely…admirable…excellent or praiseworthy- think about such things.” There is no room for excellent thoughts if all I am focused on is “issues”.
Week three brought the discussion on jr. high/high school age children. Self-esteem seemed to be the dominant theme, and Ashley Atnip helped me to see the role that we can play in shaping that self-esteem with the correct focus. While I can’t quote her exact words, she said that girls’ self-esteem comes from their looks and guys’ from their ability to perform (mostly in sports). She explained that parents need to change that focus and show teens that their value comes from God, as his creation and through being his child who is dearly loved. How amazing that must be for the parent who can truly accomplish that with God’s direction! I can see how important it is to plant this idea at an early age and reintroduce it as the child matures. Such a valuable nugget!
The last week brought the final stop in parenting: adult children. Everyone seemed to agree that our babies are always our children, but the relationship changes. All the ladies concurred that there is a time when we have to allow the children to seek us for advice, rather than offering it freely. Tina Shoemaker said it best when she mentioned questioning her children’s grocery purchases. “Should they really be buying that?? Peanut butter and tuna fish are more in their budget!” But the thought was never spoken. Probably a good choice! But that is a hard place for me to think about when I am still changing diapers and choosing my children’s clothing! This is another one of those things that doesn’t happen overnight. If my goal is preparing my kids to make decisions on their own, then I want to offer them decisions now and show them the consequences of bad decisions. Especially when the consequences are not as dire.
This is just what I heard in our panels in May. That’s what God wanted me to hear. Being a mother is awesome, and I don’t mean really cool. I have the greatest sense of awe when I think about the job of preparing my children for eternity. I hope they do well on earth, but that pales in comparison with the greater hope I have for them. I pray that they choose Christ and serve him during their days here in anticipation of the greater joy in heaven. It’s a great task, but one that God prepares and equips us to face. These women are giants to me and I am blessed to have them as advisors and confidants in this journey to the eternal.Labels: Titus 2 Women ... Learning Together |
posted by gm @ 7:49 AM  |
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| Tuesday, April 13, 2010 |
| Titus 2 Tidbits |
Jean Himes served on the panel that discussed "Loving Our Children". Tidbits from Jean:
"God gave Glenn and I two little boys. I like boys' forthright manner of communication and the way they get the 'big picture' usually. Little girls seem more interested in the details of a project and I thought that was interesting. I thought often that children taught me a lot more than I taught them especially in the area of love and forgiveness. A child's heart is a beautiful thing. Between my mom's example of treating the tiniest child with respect and Glenn's example of always showing love to our children regardless of their inappropriate behavior at times, I feel I was fortunate to learn from two excellent parents.
I always loved Florence Henderson's Jello commercial: 'At our house, we treat company like family and family like company.' I think that is a Godly sentiment because it helps us remember to treat our family with love and respect instead of saving it for 'company'!"
Nancy Wiese served on the panel discussing "Practicing Kindness and Goodness". Nancy emphasized the importance of forgiving others if we want to practice kindness and goodness. She spoke about the struggle to be a forgiving person - our desire to be a forgiving person without actually having to forgive! Tidbits from Nancy:
"Sometimes one does not want to forgive. When I found myself in that place, I had to begin by praying that God would help me WANT to forgive that individual. Also, I knew I needed forgiveness myself, so really had no choice but to begin the forgiving process. And, it is a process ... not a one time thought that I will forgive them ... I had to work on the wanting to for a while!"
Remember ... "Tell the older women to be reverent in behavior, not to be slanderers or slaves to drink; they are to teach what is good, so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be self-controlled, chaste, good managers of the household, kind, being submissive to their husbands, so that the word of God may not be discredited." (Titus 2: 3 - 5)Labels: Titus 2 Women ... Learning Together |
| posted by gm @ 2:53 PM |
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| Titus 2 Women: Desire for Pure Living - Darla Whitehead |
When Danielle approached me and asked if I would be willing to be on a panel for
Titus 2 day, it made me a little uneasy. I’ve never liked to be the center of attention and this was way out of my comfort zone. With much prayer (my own & others) I decided that I really needed to do this. God does answer prayers! I believe He gave me the confidence to follow through. It was a great day.
In researching the scriptures and thinking about my desire to live a pure life, I came upon this scripture in Psalm 119:9-12: “How can a young man keep his way pure? By living according to your word. I seek you with all my heart; do not let me stray from your commands. I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you. Praise be to you, O LORD; teach me your decrees.”
Compliance is the angle I chose to share. As a child I was very shy. I always wanted to please my parents, teachers, etc. and didn’t want to disappoint them. I feel the same way about my relationship with my heavenly Father. I want Him to be proud of me and don’t want to disappoint Him. I daily seek to be obedient to His will through prayer & Bible study. I struggle at times to keep my focus on Him. I need to rid myself of anything that would pull my attention away from Him. God knows my heart. Living pure is an attitude of the heart toward God.
I recommend the book A Woman After God’s Own Heart by Elizabeth George. She shares some great information about using our spiritual disciplines to live a life of obedience to God. I want to be remembered as a woman after God’s own heart.
Psalm 51:10: “Create in me a pure heart O God and renew a steadfast spirit within me.”
Matthew 5:8: “Blessed are the pure in heart for they will see God.”Labels: Titus 2 Women ... Learning Together |
| posted by gm @ 2:45 PM |
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| Monday, April 5, 2010 |
| Titus 2 Women: Home-making - Marcy Schaeffer |
Home-making … not House-keeping
Years ago, I started collecting and recording stories, poems, and anecdotes that spoke to me in my readings and I am working on notebook #4, and I am behind in my homework!! I keep reading books that peak my interest and pile them up to write about later! I really did not like book reports in school but now I see their value............hmmmm...........memory loss!!
One particular piece of wisdom was taped above my sink in our "starter" home (which we stayed on for 26 years!!!), and I have forgotten its origin, but not its lessons.
A Family is a Museum of Memories
1. Love more. Never waste an opportunity to tell someone that you love them. There are 3 rules for interpersonal relationships: 1. People are more important than things.
2. People are more important than things.
3. People are more important than things.
We had 2 sons and their friends (who were also boys!) and nerf balls, nerf guns, footballs, basketballs, etc. were always part of everyday life in the household. I have used every known glue known to man and all my "treasures" are glued together !@#!
Tell them "I love you" and accept your immeasurable worth as a human being. I am on your team even if your team is losing.
2. Laugh more. At yourself; At each other; There is never a time that we are together that someone doesn't bring up someone else's mistakes from the past that are hilarious, and we laugh , again, at such mistakes that we all make. The most fun in our time together seems to be at the table and with boys around all subjects seem to be open for discussion..................
3. Be together more. Especially 1 at a time, if possible, and with your extended families. Kids do love their cousins, so. It is such a special bond. We have been blessed with so many opportunities for river trips, farm trips, beach trips, DisneyWorld trips, ski trips, etc. that are directly related to the plans of our in-laws who valued family so much. Spend alot of time with your kids and be the parent--you can be friends later!! And such friends they are................
4. Be more encouraging, positive, and appreciative.
5. Listen more. I read a quote one day that said "i have never been hurt or hurt anyone by anything I did not say/" Wow! I needed that in my life. And I know that teenagers need to talk when they need to talk, so our best gift to our family may just be to listen.
6. Be more honest. Especially with my/your mistakes. They see us everyday and see right through us. Apologize. Be humble. Ask for their forgiveness when necessary.
7. Pay attention to the little things. And wear love on your sleeves, not your feelings, and not a chip on your shoulder.
8. Create a deeper sense of belonging. The family is their peer group. It lasts for a lifetime as friends come and go---graduations, moves,etc. We must teach our children to respect and cooperate with each other. We must teach them love and dignity for each other.
9. Share God more intimately. There is probably never a time when we are together that some conversation doesn't turn to our great God and His blessings, or fellow Christians that lift us up, or requests for prayers for our friends. We memorized alot of scripture in the summers and the kids still "have it" on their hearts----mine is not as easily recalled, anymore!! Speak His name often. Labels: Titus 2 Women ... Learning Together |
| posted by gm @ 4:07 PM |
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