| Thursday, July 1, 2010 |
| Gems Collected in May - Danielle DeCarlo |
Do you know that our church is full of wise women? I am so glad that God surrounded me with wise women because he knew that I would need it! Every time issues arise, God supplies the perfect person with the perfect words to lead me in the right direction. On Wednesday nights in May we were blessed by more wise women sharing their insights gained through years of child rearing. It was an extension of His Very Own focused on the area of Loving Our Kids, and each week highlighted a different age group. The hour that we spent together each week barely scratched the surface of what these women have experienced, but I know who might have the answers for my future problems! Each week my mind and heart were flooded with smart ideas, practical solutions, and curious thoughts that I had not begun to explore. I am thankful for the opportunity to bask in their wisdom, and each week there was at least one thought that spoke exactly to me. Things that touched what I had been feeling or thinking, nuggets planned especially for me. Let me share a few of the “nuggets” that have stuck with me.
The first week we discussed babies and toddlers and it was Gilda Shelby’s comment, “Kids can tell phony.” She was referring to our relationship with God and how it needs to be more than talk if we are going to touch our kids. “Relationship” has been one of my buzz words this year. God changes me through my relationship with him, and that’s the way I can influence my kids. Travis knows when I am trying to feed him a line. Even Justin gives me that look that says, “Come on, Mom, I know better than that!” They can see through to my heart, and if it’s not right, they know. I want my heart to ooze God’s love so that it can be reflected openly and sincerely in all aspects of my life. Then my kids can’t help but be touched and affected by that same love.
The second week focused on elementary age kids and Cheryl McCalister spoke to me when she said, “Everyone has issues.” That was for all us women who spend our entire lives comparing ourselves to each other (and usually coming up short). That day, it was me… big time! For some reason, we women are masters at identifying every one of our flaws and failures and accentuating them a hundred-fold in our minds, sure that everyone else knows them too. Sometimes this leads us to beating ourselves up over our inadequacies. Other times, we hunt for any real or imagined shortcomings in others to make ourselves feel a little better, if only for a short time. That’s not helping my kids (or me, for that matter), and it’s not teaching them about what is right. Philippians 4:8 hits me right between the eyes: “Whatever is true…noble…right…pure…lovely…admirable…excellent or praiseworthy- think about such things.” There is no room for excellent thoughts if all I am focused on is “issues”.
Week three brought the discussion on jr. high/high school age children. Self-esteem seemed to be the dominant theme, and Ashley Atnip helped me to see the role that we can play in shaping that self-esteem with the correct focus. While I can’t quote her exact words, she said that girls’ self-esteem comes from their looks and guys’ from their ability to perform (mostly in sports). She explained that parents need to change that focus and show teens that their value comes from God, as his creation and through being his child who is dearly loved. How amazing that must be for the parent who can truly accomplish that with God’s direction! I can see how important it is to plant this idea at an early age and reintroduce it as the child matures. Such a valuable nugget!
The last week brought the final stop in parenting: adult children. Everyone seemed to agree that our babies are always our children, but the relationship changes. All the ladies concurred that there is a time when we have to allow the children to seek us for advice, rather than offering it freely. Tina Shoemaker said it best when she mentioned questioning her children’s grocery purchases. “Should they really be buying that?? Peanut butter and tuna fish are more in their budget!” But the thought was never spoken. Probably a good choice! But that is a hard place for me to think about when I am still changing diapers and choosing my children’s clothing! This is another one of those things that doesn’t happen overnight. If my goal is preparing my kids to make decisions on their own, then I want to offer them decisions now and show them the consequences of bad decisions. Especially when the consequences are not as dire.
This is just what I heard in our panels in May. That’s what God wanted me to hear. Being a mother is awesome, and I don’t mean really cool. I have the greatest sense of awe when I think about the job of preparing my children for eternity. I hope they do well on earth, but that pales in comparison with the greater hope I have for them. I pray that they choose Christ and serve him during their days here in anticipation of the greater joy in heaven. It’s a great task, but one that God prepares and equips us to face. These women are giants to me and I am blessed to have them as advisors and confidants in this journey to the eternal.Labels: Titus 2 Women ... Learning Together |
posted by gm @ 7:49 AM  |
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