| Thursday, July 1, 2010 |
| Gems Collected in May - Danielle DeCarlo |
Do you know that our church is full of wise women? I am so glad that God surrounded me with wise women because he knew that I would need it! Every time issues arise, God supplies the perfect person with the perfect words to lead me in the right direction. On Wednesday nights in May we were blessed by more wise women sharing their insights gained through years of child rearing. It was an extension of His Very Own focused on the area of Loving Our Kids, and each week highlighted a different age group. The hour that we spent together each week barely scratched the surface of what these women have experienced, but I know who might have the answers for my future problems! Each week my mind and heart were flooded with smart ideas, practical solutions, and curious thoughts that I had not begun to explore. I am thankful for the opportunity to bask in their wisdom, and each week there was at least one thought that spoke exactly to me. Things that touched what I had been feeling or thinking, nuggets planned especially for me. Let me share a few of the “nuggets” that have stuck with me.
The first week we discussed babies and toddlers and it was Gilda Shelby’s comment, “Kids can tell phony.” She was referring to our relationship with God and how it needs to be more than talk if we are going to touch our kids. “Relationship” has been one of my buzz words this year. God changes me through my relationship with him, and that’s the way I can influence my kids. Travis knows when I am trying to feed him a line. Even Justin gives me that look that says, “Come on, Mom, I know better than that!” They can see through to my heart, and if it’s not right, they know. I want my heart to ooze God’s love so that it can be reflected openly and sincerely in all aspects of my life. Then my kids can’t help but be touched and affected by that same love.
The second week focused on elementary age kids and Cheryl McCalister spoke to me when she said, “Everyone has issues.” That was for all us women who spend our entire lives comparing ourselves to each other (and usually coming up short). That day, it was me… big time! For some reason, we women are masters at identifying every one of our flaws and failures and accentuating them a hundred-fold in our minds, sure that everyone else knows them too. Sometimes this leads us to beating ourselves up over our inadequacies. Other times, we hunt for any real or imagined shortcomings in others to make ourselves feel a little better, if only for a short time. That’s not helping my kids (or me, for that matter), and it’s not teaching them about what is right. Philippians 4:8 hits me right between the eyes: “Whatever is true…noble…right…pure…lovely…admirable…excellent or praiseworthy- think about such things.” There is no room for excellent thoughts if all I am focused on is “issues”.
Week three brought the discussion on jr. high/high school age children. Self-esteem seemed to be the dominant theme, and Ashley Atnip helped me to see the role that we can play in shaping that self-esteem with the correct focus. While I can’t quote her exact words, she said that girls’ self-esteem comes from their looks and guys’ from their ability to perform (mostly in sports). She explained that parents need to change that focus and show teens that their value comes from God, as his creation and through being his child who is dearly loved. How amazing that must be for the parent who can truly accomplish that with God’s direction! I can see how important it is to plant this idea at an early age and reintroduce it as the child matures. Such a valuable nugget!
The last week brought the final stop in parenting: adult children. Everyone seemed to agree that our babies are always our children, but the relationship changes. All the ladies concurred that there is a time when we have to allow the children to seek us for advice, rather than offering it freely. Tina Shoemaker said it best when she mentioned questioning her children’s grocery purchases. “Should they really be buying that?? Peanut butter and tuna fish are more in their budget!” But the thought was never spoken. Probably a good choice! But that is a hard place for me to think about when I am still changing diapers and choosing my children’s clothing! This is another one of those things that doesn’t happen overnight. If my goal is preparing my kids to make decisions on their own, then I want to offer them decisions now and show them the consequences of bad decisions. Especially when the consequences are not as dire.
This is just what I heard in our panels in May. That’s what God wanted me to hear. Being a mother is awesome, and I don’t mean really cool. I have the greatest sense of awe when I think about the job of preparing my children for eternity. I hope they do well on earth, but that pales in comparison with the greater hope I have for them. I pray that they choose Christ and serve him during their days here in anticipation of the greater joy in heaven. It’s a great task, but one that God prepares and equips us to face. These women are giants to me and I am blessed to have them as advisors and confidants in this journey to the eternal.Labels: Titus 2 Women ... Learning Together |
posted by gm @ 7:49 AM  |
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| Wednesday, April 28, 2010 |
| The Kingdom of Heaven Belongs to These: Gail Matthews |
I observed a beautiful event on Sunday. While walking to my office in the church building, I stopped alongside a mom and dad as they watched the Bible class for babies, specifically, as they watched their precious little girl in that Bible class. We stood outside a one-way window and observed the process going on behind the glass.
Since I did not have a little one in that class, my eyes stayed on the teacher, Jimmie Sue Long. And I marveled. There were other helpers in the room. After all, when there are over 10 babies in one room - you need helpers! But there was a calm in the room - an engagement of little eyes and hands focused on this teacher. She talked to them. She touched them. She had their rapt attention as she spoke about God - their God.
And I thought about the paintings we have seen of Jesus touching and holding little ones. I remembered when Jesus reprimanded His disciples for trying to keep the children away from Him. (Matthew 19: 13 - 15) He said: "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these."
I am grateful that God has gifted many of our women with the gift of touching children. I witnessed it being exercised beautifully that Sunday. And I am grateful for Jimmie Sue and her willingness to use those God-given gifts to bless the children in this place.
If you are one of the many women who are being the "hands and feet of Jesus" to our children ... THANK YOU ... I pray God's continued blessings on you and your families.Labels: Seeing God in the Everyday |
| posted by gm @ 10:21 AM |
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| Tuesday, April 13, 2010 |
| Titus 2 Tidbits |
Jean Himes served on the panel that discussed "Loving Our Children". Tidbits from Jean:
"God gave Glenn and I two little boys. I like boys' forthright manner of communication and the way they get the 'big picture' usually. Little girls seem more interested in the details of a project and I thought that was interesting. I thought often that children taught me a lot more than I taught them especially in the area of love and forgiveness. A child's heart is a beautiful thing. Between my mom's example of treating the tiniest child with respect and Glenn's example of always showing love to our children regardless of their inappropriate behavior at times, I feel I was fortunate to learn from two excellent parents.
I always loved Florence Henderson's Jello commercial: 'At our house, we treat company like family and family like company.' I think that is a Godly sentiment because it helps us remember to treat our family with love and respect instead of saving it for 'company'!"
Nancy Wiese served on the panel discussing "Practicing Kindness and Goodness". Nancy emphasized the importance of forgiving others if we want to practice kindness and goodness. She spoke about the struggle to be a forgiving person - our desire to be a forgiving person without actually having to forgive! Tidbits from Nancy:
"Sometimes one does not want to forgive. When I found myself in that place, I had to begin by praying that God would help me WANT to forgive that individual. Also, I knew I needed forgiveness myself, so really had no choice but to begin the forgiving process. And, it is a process ... not a one time thought that I will forgive them ... I had to work on the wanting to for a while!"
Remember ... "Tell the older women to be reverent in behavior, not to be slanderers or slaves to drink; they are to teach what is good, so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be self-controlled, chaste, good managers of the household, kind, being submissive to their husbands, so that the word of God may not be discredited." (Titus 2: 3 - 5)Labels: Titus 2 Women ... Learning Together |
| posted by gm @ 2:53 PM |
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| Titus 2 Women: Desire for Pure Living - Darla Whitehead |
When Danielle approached me and asked if I would be willing to be on a panel for
Titus 2 day, it made me a little uneasy. I’ve never liked to be the center of attention and this was way out of my comfort zone. With much prayer (my own & others) I decided that I really needed to do this. God does answer prayers! I believe He gave me the confidence to follow through. It was a great day.
In researching the scriptures and thinking about my desire to live a pure life, I came upon this scripture in Psalm 119:9-12: “How can a young man keep his way pure? By living according to your word. I seek you with all my heart; do not let me stray from your commands. I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you. Praise be to you, O LORD; teach me your decrees.”
Compliance is the angle I chose to share. As a child I was very shy. I always wanted to please my parents, teachers, etc. and didn’t want to disappoint them. I feel the same way about my relationship with my heavenly Father. I want Him to be proud of me and don’t want to disappoint Him. I daily seek to be obedient to His will through prayer & Bible study. I struggle at times to keep my focus on Him. I need to rid myself of anything that would pull my attention away from Him. God knows my heart. Living pure is an attitude of the heart toward God.
I recommend the book A Woman After God’s Own Heart by Elizabeth George. She shares some great information about using our spiritual disciplines to live a life of obedience to God. I want to be remembered as a woman after God’s own heart.
Psalm 51:10: “Create in me a pure heart O God and renew a steadfast spirit within me.”
Matthew 5:8: “Blessed are the pure in heart for they will see God.”Labels: Titus 2 Women ... Learning Together |
| posted by gm @ 2:45 PM |
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| Monday, April 5, 2010 |
| Titus 2 Women: Home-making - Marcy Schaeffer |
Home-making … not House-keeping
Years ago, I started collecting and recording stories, poems, and anecdotes that spoke to me in my readings and I am working on notebook #4, and I am behind in my homework!! I keep reading books that peak my interest and pile them up to write about later! I really did not like book reports in school but now I see their value............hmmmm...........memory loss!!
One particular piece of wisdom was taped above my sink in our "starter" home (which we stayed on for 26 years!!!), and I have forgotten its origin, but not its lessons.
A Family is a Museum of Memories
1. Love more. Never waste an opportunity to tell someone that you love them. There are 3 rules for interpersonal relationships: 1. People are more important than things.
2. People are more important than things.
3. People are more important than things.
We had 2 sons and their friends (who were also boys!) and nerf balls, nerf guns, footballs, basketballs, etc. were always part of everyday life in the household. I have used every known glue known to man and all my "treasures" are glued together !@#!
Tell them "I love you" and accept your immeasurable worth as a human being. I am on your team even if your team is losing.
2. Laugh more. At yourself; At each other; There is never a time that we are together that someone doesn't bring up someone else's mistakes from the past that are hilarious, and we laugh , again, at such mistakes that we all make. The most fun in our time together seems to be at the table and with boys around all subjects seem to be open for discussion..................
3. Be together more. Especially 1 at a time, if possible, and with your extended families. Kids do love their cousins, so. It is such a special bond. We have been blessed with so many opportunities for river trips, farm trips, beach trips, DisneyWorld trips, ski trips, etc. that are directly related to the plans of our in-laws who valued family so much. Spend alot of time with your kids and be the parent--you can be friends later!! And such friends they are................
4. Be more encouraging, positive, and appreciative.
5. Listen more. I read a quote one day that said "i have never been hurt or hurt anyone by anything I did not say/" Wow! I needed that in my life. And I know that teenagers need to talk when they need to talk, so our best gift to our family may just be to listen.
6. Be more honest. Especially with my/your mistakes. They see us everyday and see right through us. Apologize. Be humble. Ask for their forgiveness when necessary.
7. Pay attention to the little things. And wear love on your sleeves, not your feelings, and not a chip on your shoulder.
8. Create a deeper sense of belonging. The family is their peer group. It lasts for a lifetime as friends come and go---graduations, moves,etc. We must teach our children to respect and cooperate with each other. We must teach them love and dignity for each other.
9. Share God more intimately. There is probably never a time when we are together that some conversation doesn't turn to our great God and His blessings, or fellow Christians that lift us up, or requests for prayers for our friends. We memorized alot of scripture in the summers and the kids still "have it" on their hearts----mine is not as easily recalled, anymore!! Speak His name often. Labels: Titus 2 Women ... Learning Together |
| posted by gm @ 4:07 PM |
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| Friday, March 12, 2010 |
| A Daughter's Wedding (Gail Matthews) |
My daughter was married on Saturday. It was a splendid occasion! She and her new husband were surrounded by family and a host of friends – all there to celebrate with them and to be witnesses to the vows of commitment they made to each other. The preparations had taken months. And the culmination was an explosion of beauty. The women were dressed in lovely gowns and they were radiant. The men were tuxedo-clad and handsome. Musicians played lovely music to welcome all into the sanctuary. Flowers cascaded down the aisle and across the front of the room in an array of fabulous color and form. A long-time friend and spiritual guide welcomed the bride and groom and spoke to them about love, about commitment, about marriage. He led them through promises to each other and the exchanging of rings to signify their vows.
The bulk of my task, as her mother, was finished. The room was dressed and beautiful. The gowns had been purchased and fitted. The photographers were scurrying about in the attempt to capture the splendid moments for memory’s sake. So I watched … and listened.
I focused on my child’s face. It was a picture of joy. Her eyes communicated everything – her love for this man, her willingness to give herself to him and to walk beside him. There was no apprehension on her face – no caution or fear – it was complete surrender to the reality of uniting with him. I was moved deep within my spirit.
Then the words of my Lord flooded my mind and heart. “Do not let your heart be troubled … I am preparing a place for you … I will come and take you to be with me so that you may be where I am.” I thought about the wedding language that the Lord uses to describe His relationship with His own – with me. I thought about the coming “wedding supper of the Lamb”. And I thought about myself. As I watched my daughter’s face, I wondered about my own face when I look upon my Lord. Is there that complete love? Do my eyes radiate the willingness to be where He is? Am I as willing to follow Him wherever He leads?
And there was dancing. My daughter dancing with her father – faces radiating love. My daughter dancing with her husband – faces aglow with the love they have for each other. I watched a father giving his daughter into the arms of the young man. And I remembered - Jesus spoke about His Father “giving” each believer to Him – a gift of indescribable worth. I am that gift to my Lord – a gift from the Father. Am I willing to stay in step with my Lord? Am I willing to make my steps fall in place with His – to follow His lead?
It was a beautiful night. My heart was beyond full and overflowing with gratitude. The experience also sends me to prayer:
O my Lord, I do want You to transform my heart into all loveliness for You.
My heart’s desire is to be beautiful for You.
I long to dance in perfect harmony with You.
I give myself to You again today … ever more fully … ever more graciously.
I am content in Your arms and in Your heart.
And I pray that my face, my entire being, radiates my love for You.
My Jesus ... My LORD. Labels: Learning Through Family |
| posted by gm @ 10:20 AM |
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| Monday, February 1, 2010 |
| His Very Own: Becoming a Titus 2 Woman (Danielle DeCarlo) |
When Travis was born, Randy stayed home from work for a couple of weeks and we enjoyed the time together as a family, getting to know our new little boy. And then he left us. He went back to work, and I was solely responsible for the survival of our baby from 7 am to 7 pm. I was nervous! It became my special moment every night when Randy returned and I would display Travis proudly and say, “Look what I did today! He’s still alive!” It took about a month or two before I got past that and felt fairly confident that Randy wouldn’t need to call and ask if we had made it another day. But I didn’t feel like I had mastered motherhood. There had to be something more than just keeping a baby alive. I wanted to move from keeping him alive to teaching him to thrive. But I wasn’t sure how to do that. And since that time there have been lots of times that I feel like there is something I am missing, but I am not sure how to figure it out. Sometimes I am not even sure what it is that I don’t know.
Elisabeth Elliot describes the way God planned for this need to be fulfilled. She calls it “spiritual mothering”: taking spiritual daughters under our wings to school them in the areas Paul mentions in Titus 2: loving their husbands and children, self-control, purity, kindness, being busy at home, and being subject to their husbands. She recounts the time Mrs. Cunningham, a sweet older Scottish woman, knocked at her door and said that God had given her a burden for Elisabeth and she wanted her to know that anytime Elisabeth needed to talk, she would be available. Elisabeth said that she spent many hours in her small apartment, drinking tea and opening up her heart to Mrs. Cunningham. Elisabeth says that she owes much to her spiritual mother, and she exhorts other women to follow her Biblical example and be spiritual mothers.
God has called us to teach the younger women these things, and we are seeking to respond with an event called His Very Own: Becoming a Titus 2 Woman. It is scheduled for Saturday, February 20 in the Ministry Building. We are planning a series of panel discussions focusing on each of the areas described in Titus 2. We will have 6 sessions with 2 topics running simultaneously, and each woman may choose 3 topics. We are seeking to create an environment that will generate some mentoring relationships and expose some of the hidden wisdom among our ladies. We are facilitating discussions, not presuming that any of us have arrived at perfection! Paul calls older women to teach the younger, and we ALL fit in both categories. We will have ladies ranging in age from their 20s all the way up to their 70s. We are praying that God would lead us into deeper relationship with each other, and that the wisdom that we possess does not end with us.
We are collecting questions to be discussed during this day. Any issue or concern you have, please write it down and place it in the pink box at any women’s event or during church at the welcome center. You do not need to sign your name, simply submit your concern and come to hear what advice and direction we can offer. We are hoping that you can find a gentle ear among our women, someone to teach you the things that you need to learn. And we are praying that as older women, we will be the teachers and counselors that we so desperately need.Labels: Seeing God in the Everyday |
| posted by gm @ 2:34 PM |
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